the butterfly is already becoming

chrysalis
Originally uploaded by pcrispin

I have wanted to go to Africa for as long as I can remember. This summer, that dream was fulfulled when I went on a mission trip to Blantyre, Malawi. And although I learned many things and had an amazing experience, I did not feel any sort of great or dramatic change within myself...and was in fact, disappointed. I had prayed and prayed for this remarkable change, complete healing of my heart and the re-discovery of my True Self. So when this didn't happen like I expected, I was frustrated and somewhat disillusioned with my life-long dream. Yet, things are never what they seem...

I began to pray...and thankfully, God spoke...

I "randomly" came upon a book in the bookstore called When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd. In the first chapter, she tells about her experience of coming upon a cocoon and how the rememberance of a certain childhood story accurately described her current situation...

Yellow, a caterpillar in Trina Paulus's book Hope for the Flowers, saw another caterpillar spinning a cocoon and asked, "If I decide to become a butterfly...what do I do?"
"Watch me, " came the reply. "I'm making a cocoon. It looks like I'm hiding, I know, but a cocoon is no escape. It's an in-between house where the change takes place...During the change, it will seem...that nothing is happening, but the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time."

I love how God speaks to me in ways that relate uniquely with my soul, my personality...He speaks to me in books...and I knew that God was saying, "You too have entered the chrysalis. And even though you do not sense the change, the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time...so trust me and rest in MY timing for your shaping, growing and revelation."

So, like Kidd, I pray I am able to embrace and even rest in the cocoon with courage and endurance...that I will trust the change that is happening, even though I cannot see.