the unpredictable adventure

"In lieu of the holidays" trip

2009-11-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

Since most of you haven't seen pictures of us since July, here are a few from our September trip to St. Louis and Dallas. Because we won't be going to either of these cities for the holidays, we decided to take a trip during one of Ron's easier times to "make up" for being gone later.

Cousin Ainsley, Aunt Erin, She-She, me, Cousin Cami and Annie the Cowgirl

Paw-Paw and Marmee (my parents) with Annie at my grandparents' lake house

All of the great-grandchildren with my grandparents. Annie is in the very middle on the bench with only her sad face showing. My grandfather is saying, "Uh-Oh!" and my grandmother is saying, "Hang on, Pap!"

Annie and Cousin Ryan showing off their skills to one another.

Cousin Jaden showing Annie how to drive the car. Jaden adores "Baby Annie" and it is the sweetest thing to watch him take care of her and try to make her happy.

And this was actually taken a couple of weeks before at our house when Ron's parents came in town for Annie's Dedication. But since it was so cute, I had to include it :)

One of these days I'll get around to posting in the right month... but not today.

Fall-ing thoughts...

2009-11-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

Although I can never decide which season is my favorite - Fall or Winter - there is something about the Fall that gets me so excited that I am viscerally filled with joy... smelling the crisp air is like menthol moving throughout my entire body. And besides the normal favorite things (crunching leaves, first evening fires, apple picking, etc), some of the best things EVER have happened/happen in the Fall...

1. I began to fall (no pun intended) in love with my husband. I can't remember an exact moment or anything, just a gradual falling... and yet I knew that it was happening as we sat around a fire at a friend's house in November thinking, "Lord, if he's not the one, then I need to get out NOW because we both know I'm losing my heart fast!" Thankfully, he was :)

2. My sweet Annie Kate was born. She fills my days with laughter, singing, silliness and wonder. Motherhood is by far the most awesome, amazing, coolest, most difficult, stretching, makes-me-realize-how-dependent-on-God-I-am thing I've ever had the privilege to do.

3. Apple cider donuts, pumpkin-spice lattes, pumpkin bread. Need I say more?

4. Changing leaves - not just the colors alone, but a daily reminder that the process of death can be beautiful when LIFE is the end result.

5. First day of school... well, at least when I was in school we didn't start until September and that's still how I like to think of it. I actually envy teachers and mothers with school-age children because they get to pick out all their new supplies like artsy notebooks and the perfect ink pens. But nothing would excite me more than receiving my book list in English class! I could do without Hawthorne and Faulkner, but bring on Atwood, Shakespeare and Salinger!

6. And let's be honest, you get to wear the BEST clothes - sweaters, boots, coats, scarves - oh how I love layering!

P.S. One of these days I will get around to posting about some actual events from the past months... so sorry, but as I sat down to type, I couldn't find the camera cord to download the pictures. Yes, I know, typical me. Happy (late) Fall :)

Summer Days

2009-07-08T18:41:00.001-07:00

According to the weatherman, this June has been the "gloomiest" month since 1904 with only 4 sunny days! But that hasn't stopped us from having a great time at home and out with friends. And when the sun has peeked out, I remember why I love Boston summers and am so thankful to be living in such a beautiful place. Here are some pictures from the past month and a half with some explanations...

This is one of my favorite outfits worn on one of the sunny days! On the hanger, it looks sort of like a ruffled and decorated egg, so when I showed it to Ron, his response was, "Hmm, that's interesting." Not exactly what I was looking for. But doesn't she look cute anyway?

This is Annie and her friend Skye (my friend Laura's baby), who's only 5 weeks older than she is. They LOVE to play together - stealing each other's toys, babbling and screaching back and forth having their own conversations, and pulling each other's hair. What fun!

Going to an 80's birthday party for a friend...too bad Ron and I got in an argument and we didn't end up going - ha ha! I think she would have won the Best Costume award for sure!

Following are several eating pictures... I laugh at her almost every day while she's in her high chair and couldn't resist posting them. She makes the funniest faces and just smiles and laughs the whole time.

She loves prunes!

She hates green beans, but you'd never know by the sweet grin on her face.

She's very into eating things on her own. No, I did not give my child a mud pie, but more of the teething biscuit might have ended up on her face, hands, bib and tray than in her mouth! We're still working on it :)

This is what happens when Daddy dresses her... but they both have such a great time, who cares if it takes them 30 minutes?

A couple of weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, we headed to a specialty nursery with our friends Dave, Laura and their baby Skye. Since Dave and Ron both work with plants, this was a treat for them! We weren't planning on buying anything, but when we found a hosta plant variety called the "Brother Ronald" we couldn't resist!

Here's Annie and me with our friends Laura and Skye, also taken at the nursery.

And here's Dave, Skye, Annie and Ron. After the nursery, we went and ate ice cream at this farm - it was delicious!

Ron can always make Annie laugh like crazy! Here he's tickling her back with his beard.

Annie scooted herself over to this plastic thing and she was so proud of herself! She's not quite crawling, but gets around by pulling forward and scooting all over the place. Any day now and she'll be completely mobile - yikes!

Annie Banannie

2009-07-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

Annie is now 8 1/2 months old! And since most of you don't get to see her often (or even at all), I'd like to tell you my top 10 favorite things about her in no particular order:

1. how she LOVES to be outside whether that's going on a walk, hanging out with her dad by the grill, sitting on the steps with me or watching the dogs run around at the park

2. how she laughs all the time - when she's tickled, when I dance for her, when she sees the dogs playing together and running around the house, when she sees Ron come in after work

3. how she has this little patch of hair on the back of her head that grows faster than any other part; seriously, the girl would have a mullet if I didn't cut it often (3 times now which is a lot considering most people don't cut their kids hair until after the first year!)

4. how she laughed and laughed when she saw me at the airport after leaving her with my parents for 4 days - so hard to leave her for that long, but I was thrilled that she not only remembered me, but giggled so much that I am sure she missed me!

5. how she said "Dadadadada" the other day when she saw Ron out the window (all the books say that she can't associate words yet, but who cares?)

6. how she looks when she has fallen asleep in my arms or on my shoulder, sometimes I don't ever want to put her down in her crib

7. how excited she is to see me or Ron when she wakes up from a nap - she flaps her arms and legs and giggles (this is one of Ron's favorite things to do!)

8. how she babbles and talks to herself in her crib when she wakes up in the morning; I love to just listen to her noises!

9. how she responds to music - it calms her and puts her to sleep; she smiles when she sees people worshipping God at church or in our small group (you should see the way she watches her dad!); she squeals with delight when we sing show tunes or Disney and dance around the living room (The Sound of Music and the Lion King seem to be her favs right now!)

10. how she gets this mischievous look in her eyes that convinces me she will live up to her namesake and get into all sorts of scrapes and adventures

The Right to Understand

2009-05-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

In church on Sunday, a good friend of mine, Sandra, spoke on giving up our right to understand God's actions or restraints - when He does something that hurts and is confusing or when He doesn't do something that we've asked. Sandra said that throughout her life, when difficult circumstances arise in both her life and in others, God has asked her these 2 questions:

1. Do you trust Me?

2. Do you give up your right to understand what I am doing?

Whoa...I was immediately thrown back to this month 5 years ago when these very same questions brought me to a turning point in my faith. And although most of you who read this blog know my story, I feel like there might be someone out there who doesn't or who needs to hear it again. Maybe you feel like God failed you, like He didn't come through for you, or maybe that He's denying you something you've asked for over and over again... Whatever it is that you're dealing with, I want to give you hope.

In May of 2004, after praying and waiting and being sure that I knew how things were going to eventually play out in a certain situation, I was blindsided. I did not just feel like the road made a big turn and I went off course, I felt like God told me to go down a certain road that ended with me going off an uncompleted bridge, straight into a freezing river. I asked myself, "How could I have missed this? How could God not tell me when I asked so many times? Can I even hear the voice of God? Why would a God who claims to love me and know what's best for me allow me to be shattered and utterly lost?" Trying to make sense of what had happened, I was overcome by loss and anger. I shouted out loud to God, "I don't believe You! I don't believe that You know what's best for me! How could this possibly be what's best?! I don't believe that You are good or that You love me! But oh, how I want to! Show yourself to me God! Show me that You are true, that the things I've read and been taught about You are true! Prove Yourself to me!"

And by His grace, He did...

I was too angry and hurt to hear His voice for a while, so He used other things to speak - His people to give word pictures; a Watermark song "Mended"; a section from the book The Princess Bride; a line from the movie LOTR: Return of the King; a dead tree trunk that had a sprig of a new and different tree growing from within. God uses all things to show His grace and reveal Himself, if only we are willing to see.

Over time, I was healed from the loss; but greater than the pain from the loss was the pain of not knowing why. Over and over again I asked for understanding, I pleaded with God to show me why...and the only answer I got was that it was not what He had for me. At first, this was not an acceptable answer, but as He proved Himself to me, showing me His good, loving, merciful character, I was able to release my right to understand and to trust His sovereignty.

Back in high school, I remember sitting in my driveway after midnight with my good friend, Alex. He said something that has stuck with me even 11 years later: "In all situations, we have to remember that God is good and that God is sovereign. If we can remember that, then everything will be okay." (Wow...pretty profound for a 17 year old - thanks Al!). And that's true even today...for me and for you - if we can choose to believe that God is good, that God is sovereign, and (I'd like to add) that He loves us, everything will eventually come into line. It's when we have an experience with God - when we know Him and have seen His character - that we can believe and trust Him; first came the experience, then the belief and trust. This doesn't mean that we don't question, that we don't get angry, that we don't feel sad and loss; it does mean that God is not afraid of those things and He will prove Himself to us if we humbly ask.

So on Sunday during the ministry time after the sermon was over, I sat reflecting on my situation 5 years ago and I was so thankful - thankful that God proved Himself true to me; that in His mercy He drew me close again; that He was not discouraged by my anger, my doubt, my questions, my accusations; and that because of that situation, my faith was refined, hardened and proved genuine. I don't want to be arrogant; I know that my situation is mild compared with some of the true tragedies that others have gone through. But I hope that even if horror comes to me in greater proportions I will still believe Him true; yet even if I am not, He will prove Himself to be.

My encouragement to you is this: if you are angry, hurt or confused by God's actions or restraints, if His character does not seem to line up with your experience, then humbly ask Him to prove Himself true to you, to show you Who He is and how much He loves you. As one who has experienced this for herself, I know He will be faithful to do it.

From Annie Kate

2009-04-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! This is Annie Kate. Shh, don't tell my mom, but I thought I would post something since she's not so good at updating her blog. I will be 6 months old on the 17th and I am learning so much so quickly!

I love to hang out with my dad! He can't wait until I can throw so we can play catch.

I can grab my toes and roll from side to side. I can roll from my stomach to my back sometimes, but I haven't quite figured out how to get my arm in the right position every time, so I get stuck and mom has to help me.

I've been borrowing this Bumbo seat from my friend Ellie Phillips and I like sitting in it to play and eat. I can't quite sit up on my own yet, but I'm super close!

And speaking of my friend Ellie, here we are (with our moms) on Easter Sunday wearing matching dresses! We didn't plan it, but don't we look cute?

I love Sunday mornings because we get to have Dunkin' Donuts in bed and play all morning before church. Well, only mom and dad get the donuts. They must be tasty because they eat them all up and won't share with me!

Here's me eating some pears. I've gotten so much better at eating solids in the last couple of weeks! I've also had rice cereal, bananas, carrots and avocados. I could do without the rice cereal, but I love all the rest and wave my arms all around so that mom knows that I want more!

And here's me one more time on Easter Sunday. Daddy is behind the camera making silly noises and faces; he makes me laugh all the time!

Okay, I've got to go to bed now! Please come see me in Boston! I sleep through the night and everything so don't worry, I won't keep you up :)

Update on AK

2009-03-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

Update on AK...all is well and she is perfectly healthy! We saw the Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist and he said that the bump behind her ear was nothing to worry about and perfectly harmless (huge sigh of relief). He said it was probably a cyst or a swollen gland, like my pediatrician thought, and that it would either disappear on it's own or we could remove it at a later date when she's older and more easily able to tolerate a surgery. So thank you, thank you for praying for our sweet daughter! And by the way, she's five months old today - I can hardly believe it!

All Things New

2009-03-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

With the arrival of Spring and the world becoming new again, so are many new things happening with the Goode's up here in Boston! Our life is definitely living up to my blog title :) After much prayer, fasting and guidance we are starting a new company called THE NARROW LANE! And although I am technically the owner (hee hee!), Ron will do all the work! He will be doing lawn care and service, in conjunction with our friend's company, a landscape design firm. And although this is quite a deviation from his previous thoughts about occupation, he is really excited about owning his own company! We are praying for God's blessing and are trusting Him to take care of us. Ron is busy getting things ready with business cards, flyers and gaining accounts. Please pray that we gain enough clients to make this venture profitable for our family, a blessing to our investors and a way to increase the Kingdom of God.

The company logo is pictured above and the picture below is of Annie (4 1/2 months) and I on a recent trip to Waco.

I am busy taking care of Annie, who is growing like crazy! She is almost 5 months old (on the 17th) and her little personality is beginning to come out: she likes predictability, does well on a schedule, is easily contented and cries only when she needs something. She loves to be tickled, talks and squeels constantly, and chews on anything she can get her hands on! We love to read books together and go on long walks when the weather is above 40 degrees :). Annie Kate's a little skinny at only 13 1/2 pounds and almost 26 inches, so we started solids a little early, as per our pediatrician's instructions. At this time, she's only eating rice cereal, but a friend of mine gave me a book on making your own baby food, so I'm super excited about trying that out in a few weeks!

On a more serious note, Annie has had a lump on her head behind her right ear since birth that is not going away. The doctor has been aware of it and thinks it's just a gland that's swollen or maybe a cyst, but we are going to see an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist tomorrow to have more tests run. At her last check-up she had some blood work done and her white blood cell count is unexplainably high. He said it is probably nothing, just her body reacting to vaccinations or maybe fighting off a cold, but because of the lump, he wants to make sure and find out exactly what's causing the levels to be so elevated. I'm trying not to think about scary words like "cancer" and "leukemia" but that's sometimes easier said than done... But I do know that God is GOOD and He is FAITHFUL, so no matter what comes our way, we know that He is still our God and we will trust Him with our daughter's life and her health. But we also believe in prayer and in healing, so please join with us as we ask for her complete healing and full health. I'll update again when I know more. Thanks so much for your prayers and support!

Here's a short video of Ron making Annie laugh - she's such a joy!

A time with family

2008-12-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

Because Ron will graduate from Boston College in less than a week (we can hardly believe it!), we have been taking full advantage of his time off! Over Thanksgiving, we spent over a week in St. Louis with my family. And we'll spend a month over Christmas with both our parents (2 weeks with each). The older I get, the more I realize how blessed I am to actually enjoy being with both my family and Ron's family.

Here are some new pictures of Annie and my family from our time in St. Louis:

My nephew Payton holding Annie

Ron, Kristin, me, Jason, Annie, Joe and Angie

Little Annie losing her hair on top - poor thing - soon she'll look like my dad :)

Also, please continue to pray for us since Ron doesn't have a job yet. We believe that God has something amazing for us if we will only be patient and trust Him for His perfect timing!

One Month

2008-11-17T10:53:00.001-08:00

Here is a picture of the three of us at Windsor Beach. Ron and I love to go on walks and discover new places in and around Boston. And although it's a bit more complicated since we now have to bring a car seat and a diaper bag plus trying to plan around feedings, all in all, we can still do much of the same things as we did before.

Today is Annie's one month birthday! I can hardly believe how the time has passed; I feel like we just got home from the hospital a few days ago. She went to the doctor this morning and is doing so well! She has gained 22 ounces, she is one inch longer and her head is bigger! She is in the middle percentiles in all categories. In short, she is THRIVING and we are so thankful to have a healthy and perfect little girl!

Sorry for the short post but little Annie Kate just started crying and is ready to eat! Ah the life of a new mom - I'm loving it!

And life changed on October 17th

2008-11-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

October 16th at 10:00 pm: Some girls from our community group asked how I was feeling and if I thought Baby Girl was anywhere near coming and if she was still breech. I told them that I thought she was nowhere near coming b/c I hadn't had any symptoms and she was still sitting so high. Plus, I had seen my midwife earlier that day and we decided not to check and see if I was dialated. Little did I know that Baby Girl had her own plans...

October 17th at 1:00 am: I woke up and had to use the restroom very badly! When I stood up out of bed, I felt a little trickle...hmmm...what was that? Then I had what I thought must be a real contraction because it felt like "that time of the month" cramps. But since I'd never been in labor before and was still convinced she wasn't coming yet, I went back to bed. I woke up 30 minutes later with another contraction. I went to the restroom again and this time....gush! Yikes! That was definitely NOT normal.

I woke up Ron and told him we needed to go to the hospital. In his state of sleep induced stupor, he asked, "why?" (hee hee) I responded that either I was in labor or I was leaking amniotic fluid and we needed to go to the hospital in either case. He said I should come back to bed and then we can pray about it. Again, I laughed and said that we could pray about it, but we still needed to go to the hospital. We called the doctor and told them my symptoms and they said they would have the midwife on-call at the hospital call me back and let me know what to do. MY midwife was on-call and said "come in my friend! I hear you're in labor!" Now this was amazing because it's only a 1/15 chance that I'd get my own midwife - what a blessing!

Since I thought she was no where near coming, I hadn't even packed my bag yet! Whoops - that was on the to-do list for this week. Hmm... well, Ron took a shower and I packed my bags. The picture below is the very last belly picture taken at about 3 am on October 17th.

3:30 am: arrival at the hospital and sonogram to confirm that she was still breech. They told us we could either have the C-section right then or we could wait further into the labor to see if she would still turn. Ron and I prayed about it and felt at peace about doing it immediately. So at 5:50 am on October 17th, Anne Katherine Goode made her screaming entrance into the world! Her namesake "Anne" is from several things - my grandmother's name, my mother-in-law's middle name and my favorite childhood book Anne of Green Gables. Katherine is just a name we liked and doesn't have any specific significance. We'll call her Annie or Annie Kate.

I have to admit, after she was born, it was difficult because I felt totally disconnected to what was happening around me. The anesthesia made me feel really strange and I was shaking like crazy for a few hours after the surgery. Ron got to watch the entire procedure as he peeked around the curtain. His description of the surgery was that it looked like a deer being gutted! Lovely. While they were wiping Annie off, my midwife came over and said, "Well, your daughter and your husband are both just over there balling together!" Typical :) Over the next few days, I made Ron go home to sleep so that he would be of more use during the day; we can't both be super tired! So in the early morning hours, I got to feed, hold and take care of Annie by myself. This was GREAT for us so that we got to bond and connect - so important! Our stay at the hospital was fantastic - we LOVED our nurses and felt so supported by them and well cared for. We love Brigham and Women's Hospital!

We are home now and all doing well! The picture below was taken a few days ago after dinner. We are settling into life and trying to get on a schedule. I have to admit, this is both the greatest and most difficult thing I have ever done. I didn't expect it to be so demanding and hard, but I also had no idea that I could be so completely head over heals for this little girl! She melts my heart every time she coos, sighs, streches, makes cute faces or wraps her fingers around mine.

Stay tuned for more of the Goode's unpredictable adventure!

38 weeks and 2 days

2008-10-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

For the past 3 weeks, I've been continuing to go to the acupuncturist and chiropractor three times per week. Last week, we really thought she had turned (honestly, I think she turned and then turned back)! Everything felt different - it didn't feel like a head anymore, I looked a lot lower like she had dropped, I could breathe better - but when I went to the doctor to confirm, the sonogram showed that she was still breech. I was really discouraged that day (last Thursday) and was fighting the Enemy's ploy to try and make me lose hope. Thankfully, we had Faithgroup that evening where they prayed for us and encouraged us! In particular, Joy, a friend of mine, had me speak out-loud that I would not allow Satan to steal my hope and to proclaim that God is good and is in control. As the others prayed and agreed with me, something in the Spirit was broken and I felt so much better! Praise God for good friends who will speak into my life and for an amazing community who surrounds us!

Tomorrow (Tuesday) at 10 am, Ron and I are headed to Brigham and Women's Hospital to undergo a procedure called the "External Cephalic Version" which basically is where the doctor will "manually" turn the baby from the outside. They will monitor the baby by sonogram and dopplar so that if the baby's heart rate starts to drop, they stop immediately and can also see what's happening with the cord. There are risks, though they are minimal. It can send you into labor b/c they are pushing around on your stomach and the cord can become wrapped around limbs or neck. Obviously, this is a little scary, but again, the risks are minimal and they monitor both me and baby the whole time. Plus, it's done in the hospital so that if by some slim chance something does go wrong, then they can perform an emergency c-section right then. My doctor and midwife assure me that it's a safe procedure and that I should not be worried or scared.

If this procedure doesn't work tomorrow, then I think the plan will be to schedule a c-section about the time of my due date (Oct 25). That will still give the baby time to turn on her own, but we'll also be prepared if she doesn't. My mom comes to Boston on Oct 23rd, so I want to take full advantage of her help while she can be here :)

I am so thankful that we are surrounded (both physically here in Boston and in spirit by those far away) by friends who are praying for us! We feel so loved and covered! Please keep believing with us!

Update: continue to believe!

2008-09-27T13:33:00.001-07:00

Four weeks from today to go and counting! I'm now at 36 weeks and I wanted to give a little update from my last post about Baby Girl being breech...she is still in the "frank breech" position (jack-knifed with her feet up by her head) but I found out that it is the most common breech position and NOT strange! It still doesn't seem all that comfortable in my mind, but it made me feel much better knowing that she was not in pain and that it was not abnormal. Praise God!

I am so thankful for that reassurance, but I am also thankful for the opportunity to journey through all the feelings and fear that it produced. It helped me go to a deeper level of trust with the Lord: to trust Him with her health and safety and to trust Him if something is wrong, believing that He placed this sweet baby with us for a reason and is entrusting us to take care of her and will equip us to do it. God is worthy of my trust as He has proved this over and over to me.

Since she is still breech, now what? We're doing a combination of things...some "at home" techniques that include laying upside down, putting music and light at the bottom of my stomach, ice packs up near the top; a form of acupuncture that does not use needles but uses heat on pressure points to release the energy and get everything flowing (this was definitely a new experience for me!); I'm going to a chiropractor on Monday to undergo the "Webster technique" which basically aligns my spine and relaxes the muscles of my uterus and pelvis, giving the baby room to move; on Wednesday I go see my midwife and if she still hasn't turned by then, I will make an appointment with my doctor to do an "External cephalic version" which basically means she will have me lay on the table and will manually turn her from the outside. We're still believing that the Lord will make it happen - whether supernaturally or using any of these techniques.

So once again, I'm asking you to continue to believe for her to turn head-down and facing my back! Thanks for all your encouragement and prayers - they are very much appreciated!

Believe with us!

2008-09-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry that there are not any new pictures of me to go along with this post, but this is a slightly different update...

Baby Girl is BREECH (head up, rear end down) and in a jack-knifed position (folded over forwards with her feet up by her head) - this is not good! If she stays in this position and does not turn in the next 3 weeks, I have to have an automatic C-section. My midwife said there are a few more techniques that we can try to get her to turn, but she doesn't think it will happen since she's so scrunched in there already. And since I've been preparing for a natural, vaginal birth, this is not exactly how I would like things to take place. I realize that I cannot control how this birth will happen and of course we will do what's healthy for Baby, but please believe with us and ask the Lord to turn her! I'd love for the doctors and midwives to be shocked at how big God really is and how He can do the impossible!

The jack-knife position is a little scary too...not because it's hurting her, but because she has been in this position for every sonogram I've had since 20 weeks. I don't know if she changes positions and then goes back to that one or not; I feel her moving around, but can't really tell what anything is besides her head and back. Last night, I woke up at 3 am terrified that there was something wrong with her legs...like maybe she CAN'T bend them and that's why she's always in that position and that's why she won't turn. My fears of the unknown and a possible disability were overwhelming. I spent a good hour in prayer and battle before my heart was again at peace. Everyone keeps telling me that maybe she's just flexible and that they're sure everything is fine...well, yes, there are far worse things that could be wrong, but I want to believe God for her perfect health! I don't want to settle for just assuming that things will be fine.

The Lord has definitely been teaching me about faith over this pregnancy...real faith...not just the kind that knows in your head, but the real, gritty kind that fills your gut and leaves you feeling absolutely secure in the character of God. I've been up and down and all over the place, but God is so gracious and patient with me as I learn to progressively trust Him and believe that He is growing my meager faith. I know that things may turn out very differently than I imagine, but please believe with us for the following things...

1. That Baby Girl would turn and be in a head-down, posterior position
2. That we would be able to have a natural, vaginal birth
3. That Baby Girl would be healthy, whole and without disability
4. That I would have the courage and grace to face whatever comes; that I would trust the Lord and His plans for me; that my faith would be stretched as I believe for things that are not yet seen

Thank you my friends! I am so grateful to know that I can post this and that people all over the country will pray for my family! I am so blessed!

only 7 more weeks!

2008-09-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law and my parents both called me yesterday and threatened to put embarrassing photos on the web if I did not post something today. So here's a photo taken last week (32 weeks) in our back walkway by the garden...which was more like a jungle until Sheila (Ron's mom) came and cleaned it up for us. Now we can see the lovely tomatoes and melons that are growing!

I only have 3 more weeks of work left and only 7 more weeks until my due date - it's very surreal and difficult to wrap my mind around. And although I'm sad to leave High Point and 963 Missions because I love the people I work with, I am very excited for this new adventure!

For the many of you who've asked, no, I haven't even started on the nursery yet. We have some people staying with us indefinitely, so sometime after that, we'll paint and decorate. We've got the supplies ready to go, but it will be a bit longer before we begin. Surprisingly, I'm not freaking out about it :)

More to come later...

26 weeks...or 6 months for the layperson

2008-07-17T14:54:00.001-07:00

Since my sister, Angie, and sister-in-law, Kristin, have been bugging me to update my blog for some time now, I thought I would do a quick post so you all can see how my belly is growing. Angie and Kristin will still not be happy though, since this picture was taken by them at my St. Louis baby shower last weekend. Oh well, it's the best I can do for now!

Quick update - today (27 weeks) we entered our 7th month and the 3rd trimester! And as the baby gifts arrive and our guest room is increasingly looking like a storage unit, the fact that we will soon have a baby girl is becoming more and more real. I'll catch Ron looking at my stomach with amazement and then he says, "whoa...we're going to have a baby!" Yes babe...hence the basketball under my clothes! He's been able to feel the baby move for a few weeks now, but the other night, he actually SAW my stomach moving around (maybe her head or foot rolling and poking) and THAT was truly amazing - what a miracle!

It's a....hmm...and other miracles

2008-04-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

So it's been a busy couple of weeks for Little G...

Here is a picture of our 11 week sonogram! It might be hard to tell, but in the circle to the right, there's a head and body and arms and legs. Like his or her dad, the baby appears to be taking it easy and lounging in my stomach. Hopefully, this laid back attitude will carry right on through after he or she is born. We all know we don't need another high-strung person around this house...and I'm definitely not talking about Ron!

I think the thing sticking up near his or her stomach/legs is the umbilical cord or maybe a leg...but of course Ron's reaction when he saw the picture was, "Whoa! Is that his thingy?" Yeah, um...that would be a little ambitious even if we did know the sex :)

That day, I also got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! Ron was not able to be there because he had meetings, but my friend Kelly was visiting from Texas and she came to be my support. It was amazing and I'm so glad that a good friend got to share that experience with me!

Then last night, Ron and I went to "Meet the Midwives" at Brigham and Women's Hospital, the place where I will hopefully deliver. Not only was it informative, but we watched this video of women laboring through natural childbirth. It was a short video and I started tearing up within the first minute. By the time the babies were actually born - a mere 6 minutes later in the video - I was crying and so was Ron! It's official: we're both softies and we'll both cry when Little G finally makes an appearance. It was strange, I've seen several childbirths before in health class or sex education and never ever reacted that way. But when I realized that Ron and I would be doing that in just a few short months (God willing), it hit me that we would be participating in a miracle! Thank you Lord for how you let us be a part of the extraordinary!

Life Out of Death

2008-03-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

At Faithgroup (our small group from our church) back in early February, we waited on the Lord and asked Him to speak to us about what He's going to do and how He wants to begin to change our hearts at World Mandate (annual missions conference) that coming weekend. Sometimes I hear a little from the Lord...small words of affirmation and comfort like, "I love you"...and sometimes I hear more. That night, I heard a lot and in light of our recent PREGNANCY, I thought this was pretty significant...especially since I was only about a week pregnant at that point and had no idea...here's what He said to me:

"I am birthing something NEW in you - new life, new depth. Life will come out of death and through it, I will bring you to a new level with Me. New levels of obedience, higher callings - this is what I'm inviting you to. You will depend on Me in the coming months for they will be very difficult - life out of death - but I will be with you and very near to you. Do not be afraid, but embrace this new time, this new season, this new level of abandonment. Jump, my child, and I will catch you. Abandonment. No fear. I am WITH YOU."

WHOA was about all I could say afterwards. Life out of DEATH - what the heck does that mean for me? I started getting scared! But then I remembered the numerous reminders of how God always brings life out of death - leaves falling off of trees during winter and new ones emerging in the spring; a caterpillar goes into a cocoon (extended darkness) to become a butterfly; a wife who lovingly serves her husband brings life to her marriage; a woman giving up her body to birth a child; a father working long hours to support his family; and the most important: Christ dying on the cross and being raised again so that we might have True Life. And notice that these are all willing deaths...these are not decisions made selfishly or fearfully, but decisions made because something better waits on the other side.

Life out of death - this is what the Lord is doing in me during this season. Pregnancy is not only happening to me physically, but it is a picture of what is happening to me spiritually...a willing death. As this baby grows in the night of my womb, so new life is forming in the dark places of my soul. As I give my body to this baby, reject my ideals of always being skinny and my fears of what I'll look like afterwards, so I am relinquishing my old ways of thinking, my old fears of abandonment that have too long stood firm.

Watch...and Wait...and See...New life is emerging...

P.S. Read my friend Christine's blog for more on this subject!

The First Snow

2007-12-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

It began last night...Ron called and asked, "Babe, have you looked outside?" This is one of my favorite questions of all time, as my mother can attest. I pulled up the shade and the streets were covered in WHITE. Only a 1/4 of an inch at that point - just enough to cover the pavement and grass still showing - but it awakened something in me that sleeps far too often: delight!

I grabbed the dogs and danced around the apartment towards the door. Who cares about coats when the first snow is falling?! We ran up and down the sidewalk...I danced and the dogs jumped all over the place. Coming from Texas, this cold, tingling sensation was new to Merry and Molly so it was great fun watching them bound and roll all over the place.

Later, Ron and I took the dogs on a late-night walk through the snow-covered streets. I broke out my long underwear and snow boots; Ron wore his toboggan, justifiably. Since there were no cars around, we let Merry and Molly off their leashes - they loved the freedom and ran all over the place. Ron and I enjoyed the stillness, the muffled sound of freshly falling snow, and this precious moment together.

Thank you, Jesus, for the first snow!

Gratitude

2007-12-03T14:36:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving Day, my mother-in-law asks everyone to make a list of 25 things they are thankful for. Then before she serves dessert and while the kids are napping, she asks everyone to share their list with everyone. And although there are groans and rolled eyes, I think it's one of the best parts of the day...pumpkin pie aside. So here's my list this year, in no particular order:

1. For Jesus - my loving and patient friend
2. Ronnie - my love, my confidant, my prince (because he makes me feel like a princess)
3. Family - their love, how the believe in us, how they left us a legacy of knowing Jesus
4. Merry and Molly - my dogs and work buddies (since I work from home now)
5. High Point - a great company to work for, doing Kingdom work; how I've been challenged, stretched and tried
6. Community of Faith Christian Fellowship - for how they have welcomed us, made us feel wanted, and help knit us in
7. Sarah Bianchi - a new kindred spirit and great new friend here in Boston
8. miraculous sell of our house - contracted the 1st day!
9. miracle apartment in Boston - everything we wanted and the 1st one we looked at!
10. my health and a sharp mind
11. how God has blessed us so we can bless others
12. cold weather
13. changing leaves and getting to see them everyday here in New England
14. really good coffee - 963 Cinnamon Creme Brulee
15. cocoons and how they remind me that "the butterfly is already becoming" (see older posts)
16. hydrangea plant in my kitchen - reminds me that Ronnie loves me and of God's intricate and beautiful creation
17. belly laughing, singing and dancing with Ronnie - how he gives me the freedom to be myself
18. for God's voice - that He speaks and that I can hear!
19. good books that are like friends
20. nice neighbors and a chance to get to know new people
21. Annie and Jim - 2 friends from high school who have recently re-entered our lives
22. Boston - beautiful, active city, living by the ocean
23. living in America - freedom to worship, think and choose for myself
24. 8 nieces and nephews (1 niece on the way!) who are healthy, happy and so much fun
25. holidays - being together with our family and friends and eating yummy food - can't ask for anything better!

Tag...you're IT

2007-09-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

So my friend Christine "tagged" me to write about the 8 quirkiest things about me...apparently this is a regular cycle of events in the blogging world, but since this is my first time, I guess I would be considered a "tag" virgin.

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their 8 things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Now presenting...things you would only know about me if you lived with me:

1. I have to run on the right side of my partner when I'm jogging with someone. If I try and run on the left then I collide into them the entire duration of our run. Natalie, Erin and Ron - you know this all too well.

2. I have different socks for different activities and specific socks that I wear with certain shoes. Most people have the typical dress socks, ankle socks and maybe even thick socks for winter. I however have running socks, hiking socks, casual tennis shoe socks, dress boot socks, cowboy boot socks and my husband's favorite: pajama socks. Ron thinks this is quite hilarious...of course, he has yet to figure out that there IS a difference between clothes for dirty work and clothes for looking nice. A common phrase in our household, "Babe!? How could you wear your new shirt/pants/shoes to (insert dirty job here; actual examples: stain the fence, wash the dog, mow the lawn, clean out the garage)???!!!" So perhaps this is not quite as quirky as he thinks...wink, wink.

3. I went through a "second" puberty in late college! If you look at pictures from sophomore to senior year, you'll see a dramatic difference. No surgery or drugs used, just plain old nature and hormones. My face shape changed, my hair turned really curly, I grew 2 more inches and my chest grew a cup size. Yep...strange, but true. Ask my BFF Bethany who lived with me for all 4 years in college!

4. I've had plastic surgery. Not necessarily the kind you're thinking, but I've had it just the same. I got my nose pierced in college (I still miss it!) and ended up being allergic to the cheap metal. My skin absorbed the metal and turned this lovely shade of blackish-green. I tried bleaching cremes, exfoliating like crazy, peels...nothing would take this gross over sized blackhead-looking thing away...so I went under the knife. My genius doctor made 2 little slits, took out the offending skin and sewed me back up. A few hundred dollars later and I could go swimming again without being terribly ashamed of my former pleasure. I guess that's what vanity will do to you.

5. I can flare my nostrils (like a rabbit) at an alarming rate of speed. It used to be a contest between my siblings and my Daddy: who can flare the fastest?! Actually, when I had the above said surgery, my doctor hit a blood vessel in my nose and blood came pouring out and went all over my face and chin. His comment was, "You have exceptionally strong nose muscles...that should not have happened...I've never seen blood vessels like this..." Needless to say, I remained quiet and did not reveal my hidden talent. But I'll bet you can guess who always wins the contests.

6. I have a temper that can go from calm to furious in less than 3 seconds flat. I've often been told that I should have been born with red hair because then my temper would match my hair. My sweet mother will tell you that I've gotten much better than I used to be, but my husband will tell you I've still got a long way to go. Hats off to both of them for putting up with the "black Irish" in me!

7. I secretly HATE my cell phone. If I didn't need it - and yes, you really do need one in this day and age - then I would most certainly get rid myself of the blasted thing. Yes, I know this is shocking to most people - and I know that Erin is horrified I would put this in print - but I really do not like the fact that simply because I own a cell phone, people assume they should be able to get a hold of me at ALL hours. And if I'm doing something where I can't answer or heck, don't feel like answering, then they get mad! A cell phone to me gives you the option to talk anywhere at anytime - but it doesn't mean you should have to. Sorry peeps; leave a message and I'll call you back later...maybe.

8. When I'm eating, I save the best for last. I'm not necessarily talking about dessert (although I do have an unusual obsession with that too) but for each section of food on my plate, I will eat all the others surrounding it and save the best part for the last bite. For example, this evening we had fish, broccoli and potatoes. Now I am not a "section-eater" as in someone who only eats one food at a time, but I find the best part of the fish, the best piece of broccoli and the most perfect part of the potato, eat all the other parts of the rest of the food, and then save those 3 "best" items for last. Yum, yum! Ron got in trouble in the beginning of our marriage because he did not know that I saved my food. So when I only had a few little bites on my plate - the most delectable bites, mind you - he would reach over to my plate and have it in his mouth before I could object! Please see #6 to find out what would happen next.

Okay...Ronnie, Kristin, Bethany J and Bethany H...tag, you're IT!

100 years of Anne

2007-08-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

2008 will mark the 100th anniversary of the publishing of Anne of Green Gables, LM Montgomery's beloved book about the mischevious red-headed orphan, Anne Shirley. In celebration of the anniversary, my best friend Bethany and I are planning a trip to Prince Edward Island to do all things "Anne" next July. I got so excited thinking about the trip, that I just had to reread the books! And although I've read them numerous times during childhood, the last time was over 10 years ago.

My brother and husband can attest to how much I truly love Anne...

At a game night, the trivia question was, "What was the name of Anne Shirley's love interest?" And yes, because my brother had watched the movies numerous times with me throughout our childhood, he answered without hesitation, "Gilbert Blythe," much to the amazement of his teammates.

My husband is consistently amazed at how I love to "watch" the Anne movies while I clean...in truth, I don't actually watch the movie; I simply press play and turn it up loud so that I can hear it all throughout the house. I've watched it SO many times before that I know exactly what's going on in every scene simply from the dialogue and music.

But back to the books... These books are like good friends - they've become a part of me and have helped shape who I am. Anne's misadventures, insecurities and hopes all resonate with the little girl/woman in me, trying to figure out what it means to love and be loved, to not let go of my ideals and to learn from my ("many though not repeated") mistakes.

I am the type of person who reads at almost every chance - in a restaurant by myself, on the elevator, at a red light - which has left me open to many suspicious stares and awkward glances as I literally laugh out loud while Anne snubs Gilbert's offer of a strawberry apple, dyes her hair green and forgets to put flour in a cake.

So in tribute to Anne, here are just a few of my favorite parts:

Regarding vanity...

" 'But just now I feel pretty nearly perfectly happy. I can't feel exaclty perfectly happy because - well, what color would you call this?'

...Matthew was not used to deciding on the tints of ladies' tresses, but in this case there couldn't be much doubt.

'It's red, ain't it?' he said.

The girl let the braid drop back with a sigh that seemed to come from her very toes and to exhale forth all the sorrow of the ages.

'Yes, it's red,' she said resignedly. 'Now you see why I can't be perfectly happy...'"

Regarding love...

"Once, when no one was looking, Gilbert took from his desk a little pink candy heart with a gold motto on it, 'You are sweet,' and slipped it under the curve of Anne's arm. Whereupon Anne arose, took the pink heart gingerly between the tips of her fingers, dropped it on the floor, ground it to powder beneath her heel, and resumed her position without deigning to bestow a glance on Gilbert."

Regarding fashion...

"...she felt very miserable; every other little girl in the class had puffed sleeves. Anne felt that life was really not worth living without puffed sleeves."

Here's to 100 years of Anne!

the butterfly is already becoming

2007-08-03T14:01:00.001-07:00

chrysalis
Originally uploaded by pcrispin

I have wanted to go to Africa for as long as I can remember. This summer, that dream was fulfulled when I went on a mission trip to Blantyre, Malawi. And although I learned many things and had an amazing experience, I did not feel any sort of great or dramatic change within myself...and was in fact, disappointed. I had prayed and prayed for this remarkable change, complete healing of my heart and the re-discovery of my True Self. So when this didn't happen like I expected, I was frustrated and somewhat disillusioned with my life-long dream. Yet, things are never what they seem...

I began to pray...and thankfully, God spoke...

I "randomly" came upon a book in the bookstore called When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd. In the first chapter, she tells about her experience of coming upon a cocoon and how the rememberance of a certain childhood story accurately described her current situation...

Yellow, a caterpillar in Trina Paulus's book Hope for the Flowers, saw another caterpillar spinning a cocoon and asked, "If I decide to become a butterfly...what do I do?"
"Watch me, " came the reply. "I'm making a cocoon. It looks like I'm hiding, I know, but a cocoon is no escape. It's an in-between house where the change takes place...During the change, it will seem...that nothing is happening, but the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time."

I love how God speaks to me in ways that relate uniquely with my soul, my personality...He speaks to me in books...and I knew that God was saying, "You too have entered the chrysalis. And even though you do not sense the change, the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time...so trust me and rest in MY timing for your shaping, growing and revelation."

So, like Kidd, I pray I am able to embrace and even rest in the cocoon with courage and endurance...that I will trust the change that is happening, even though I cannot see.

Baaahh-stun

2007-08-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

We're moving to Boston! It seems like we have been talking about it for so long and now it's almost here. I am have a myriad of feelings all swirling around inside of me - sadness because I've finally learned to like Dallas and love the people here, anticipation because I've always wanted to live on the East Coast and because Boston might be one of the most amazing cities in the entire United States.

And much excitement...to get back up north where it's cold and there's lots of snow; where we can eat fresh and yummy seafood; where I get to wear sweaters and jeans and boots 3/4 out of the year; where it's green and there are parks and trees everywhere; where I can walk almost anywhere; where we are 10 minutes from the ocean and an hour from the mountains; where there is so much history here it puts me to shame how little I actually know of it. Wow, I'm getting myself even more pumped up.

Since I don't have any pictures yet of our humble abode - our miracle as we like to call it - for now a map of our new destination will have to do. So take a look at section 6 "Brighton" and then go slightly to your left, right on the line. This is where our new apartment is located - right on the line of Brighton and Newton. Remind me to write about our Miracle Apartment on a later blog.

Created Because...

2007-05-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

As I get further and further away from college, I find it much more difficult to keep in touch with people. Sometimes life just gets in the way; things that are important (like calling an old friend just to check in) become less important when I'm tired and when my house is dirty and when Ron has worked late and I haven't cooked dinner yet. Not that I want to be that way, but it just happens...to all of us.

I've honestly been against blogging for a long time. I used to work with this youth group that instead of using it for constructive purposes, would tear each other down and make it a billboard of the latest gossip. The evening's conversations would end up being tearful and furious recitations of "what he/she said about me on her blog and how I'm so flippin' mad that I'm going write some more BS about him/her on my blog now!" Gross. So it's taken me a little while to come around.

But now that we are moving to Boston, I want to make a conscious effort to be more deliberate in keeping up with people, to let people know what's going on in our lives and all the things that happen in our "unpredictable adventure" - more simply called LIFE. I've realized how imperative it is to share our Journey with others - the only way to foster true community. Hence, the creation of this blog.

So thank you, Steven and Christine, for encouraging me to do this and for thinking that I might be a good blogger.